Are your sexual behaviors causing you problems?

Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship whose members share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that they may fi nd freedom from addictive sexual behavior and help others recover from sexual addiction. SAA was founded in 1977 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Today SAA is an international fellowship with meetings in many countries.

Is sex addiction real?

This is a common question. We can definitely say that for us, sex addiction exists. It’s true that not every person who has an aff air, watches pornography, or uses a dating app is a sex addict. We have found most sex addicts experience one or both of these characteristics: once we start we cannot control our behaviors, or when we make up our mind to quit, sooner or later we return to those behaviors. We have also found that sex addiction is progressive, with the behaviors and their consequences usually becoming more severe over time.

Examples of addictive sexual behavior

• Porn addiction, cyber stalking or sex
• Compulsive sexting, using social media or dating apps for sexual gratification
• Infidelity / affairs
• Sexual / romantic obsession
• Intimacy avoidance / sexual anorexia
• Destructive or serial relationships
• Exhibitionism / voyeurism
• Risky, anonymous, or illegal sexual activity

What are potential consequences of sex addiction?

Not being able to control problematic sexual behaviors can often lead to painful results like:

• Relationship and/or family break-ups
• Financial difficulty
• Job / career loss
• STIs and other health problems
• Jail or prison
• Suicide or homicide

The mental anguish of leading a secret or double life can be just as severe and can include:

• Depression, despair, loneliness
• Guilt, shame, remorse
• Fear, anxiety, hopelessness

SAA can help

If you can’t quit when you want to or if you have no control of your sexual behaviors, you may have a sex addiction. If you want to stop the behaviors, and if you’re like us, you won’t be able to do it alone. Reaching out to SAA may make the diff erence for you, as it has made the diff erence for us. We invite you to attend one of our meetings.

What to expect in SAA

Acceptance and support. Many of us wondered if we would fit in because of our gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or something else, but what we found was acceptance and understanding. We met others who have experienced issues similar to ours. Many of us found the support and friendship of a caring recovery community. What we didn’t find was criticism or judgment.

Recovery tools. The SAA twelve-step program provides tools and guidance needed to sustain abstinence from compulsive sexual behaviors and to recover from sex addiction.

Hope. SAA offers hope of a new way of life, free from compulsive sexual behavior.

Am I a sex addict?

If you answer YES to any of these questions, you might benefit from the SAA Program.

1. Do I keep secrets about my sexual behavior or romantic fantasies from those important to me? Do I lead a double life?
2. Have my desires driven me to have sex in places or with people I would not normally choose?
3. Do I need a greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief?
4. Does my use of pornography occupy large amounts of time and / or jeopardize my significant relationships or employment?
5. Do my relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation? Does each new relationship have the same destructive pattern which prompted me to leave the last one?
6. Do I frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex? Do I feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
7. Have my sexual practices caused me legal problems? Could my sexual practices cause me legal problems?
8. Does my pursuit of sex or sexual fantasy conflict with my moral standards or interfere with my personal spiritual journey?
9. Do my sexuals activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease?
10. Has my sexual behavior or pursuit of sexual relationships ever left me feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
11. Does my preoccupation with sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of my life – even with I do not act out my fantasies?
12. Do I compulsively avoid sexual activity due to fear of sex or intimacy? Does my sexual avoidance consume me mentally?

 

FAQs

Who joins SAA?

Anyone who wants to stop problematic sexual behaviors may join Sex Addicts Anonymous. There is no other requirement. All are welcome.

Do I have to sign up for meetings in advance?

No. You are welcome to drop in at most meetings; however some meetings prefer you speak to the meeting contact person first.

Why is SAA Anonymous?

Anonymity is what keeps the meetings safe for everyone. This allows addicts to attend meetings without fear of disclosure or discovery.

Do I have to believe in “God”?

No. While our program is of a spiritual nature, “SAA is not affiliated with any specific religion, creed, or dogma” (Sex Addicts Anonymous, p. 21). Also we “don’t need to believe in any particular concept of a Higher Power…” (ibid, p. 26). SAA welcomes people of any religious background as well as atheists and agnostics. All are welcome.

Is the goal to stop all sexual activity?

No. SAA has no specific definition of sexual sobriety. We each seek our own healthy form of sexuality.

Are there any dues or fees?

No. We are supported by the voluntary contributions of our members.

How does SAA work?

At the heart of the SAA program are the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. They are suggestions that can help sex addicts achieve recovery. This typically includes going to meetings, working with another addict (a sponsor), and helping other addicts.

Do I have to speak at meetings?

No, you are not required to speak. You are welcome to just listen.

(This content is provided by the International Service Organization of SAA, Inc, www.saa-recovery.org)